General Musings

Giving myself time every week.

I have decided, and it won’t be easy, to commit to giving myself at least one evening/day every week to do something for me.

This boils down to me realising that if I really want to be able to reflect, move forward and make decisions I also need to dedicate some time to me every week, whether it  is a whole day, a 1/2 day or just an evening it is just important that I find that time.

This basically feeds into one of my resolutions, objectives, for 2017 to get back in to doing some hobbies that I love and really just giving myself some me time, still being a little selfish.

It doesn’t really matter what I am doing. As long as it is something I want to do; reading, writing, learning a language…just anything!

But I need to be really resolute about it though and do it.I so often just let myself get distracted, or pulled along in other waves. So no, no to distraction, no to feeling annoyed because I haven’t got something I wanted done ,and just no to not supporting myself. I will give myself time, and I will make that time happen.

General Musings

New Year Reflections

So, in preparation for 2017 I re-read my reflections post from 2016, and I thought I would see how well I had done in achieving some of my goals and thinking of where I want to go in 2017:

  1. Be a little selfish – I have and did get better at this, I still retained me and was kind but I wasn’t always 100% available, understanding etc. and I needed that. I needed to focus on me. Going in to 2017, perhaps a better goal would be to take actions for me, myself and I that take forward things I want to achieve.
  2. Don’t be scared to fail – I definitely felt less worried about perfection last year, and started re-connecting with my creative side again, my passions and this has reignited in me the feeling of wanting to do a job, career that I am passionate about and not just taking the easy, practical road. So in 2017 I think this is still a valid one for me to continue, don’t be scared to fail, try new things, take new chances when offered and don’t worry about having a picture perfect life. If I find a job I want to apply for, go for it, the only consequence you can truly have is regret.
  3. Blog better – I feel I did blog better, I wasn’t as consistent as I would have liked and then we had that pretty blank period of time, HOWEVER, some of this was out of my control. In 2017 I want to blog better and more consistently but also try to be more focused in my content, what I am sharing etc. so this may involve a bit of a blog re-haul at some point!
  4. Take more photos – This wasn’t one that I got round to doing as much as I would have liked, it fell by the wayside, I’m not sure why? I did Instagram more if that counts, but I want to do more photography with my camera. So in 2017 – the big camera comes out, and I was also looking at some classes to keep me going/inspired. Overall I just want to indulge one of my passions again.
  5. Keep on with healthy.- I did keep on with healthy, I kept losing weight, exercising and generally enhancing my well being overall, unfortunately unhealthy caught up with me when I got diagnosed with Ulcertative Colitis in September and mainly spent the latter half of the year in recovery. I haven’t put on anymore weight than where I was before going into hospital but my fitness levels aren’t quite the same. I feel lots stronger so 2017 for me is to really re-build my fitness and get back in to good food habits.
  6. Final thing – and perhaps more of a wish than a resolution, go abroad. I haven’t been out of the UK in five years. I need to see somewhere else in 2016 to sate my travel itches. – This would have happened, but unfortunately I didn’t do Brussels as I was in hospital. 😦 Hoping this won’t be the case in 2017!
  7. Get my career on track, this probably feeds in from all the other ones above, but I want to get my career on track. Really think about what makes me happy in a job and where, what I like doing etc. So I am going to start putting those steps and wheels in motion this year!
  8. Find the happy! After a strange 2016 I am determined to find the happy this year!

I can’t say that many of my goals have changed from 2016, but that wasn’t because I didn’t complete/fulfil them but because they are ongoing and they are still going forward. And that’s fine. It’s a good thing. I just need to get a little more back to me….


General Musings, Uncategorized

Reflections for a New Year

I have been reflecting back on the year just been and what I have taken from 2015. 2015 was definitely not my worst year by any means, but it wasn’t my greatest, though to be honest I am never entirely sure which year was – perhaps my first ever year that I don’t remember?? But I digress, while not as stellar perhaps as I wanted 2015 to be or hoped it would be it had some great moments for me that I am not leaving it on a low.

  1. Seeing the Foo Fighters – definitely in my top 10 moments of the year they were absolutely spectacular and I had an amazing night seeing them at MK Stadium with C in Sept.
  2. Getting healthy & losing 1 and a half stone! This is the healthiest and fittest that I have felt in a very, very long time and I am not even done yet as I haven’t reached my target weight. I am so proud of myself for the weight I have lost and the lifestyle changes I have made, yes I have off days and even weeks, but I am human and as long as I keep believing in myself and trying for success I know that I will succeed.
  3. Feeling in a place with C to begin looking for our first home. While our purchase is going slowly and it is frustrating and stressing the hell out of me I am still staying on the side of positive, at least we are able to buy a house and move in together. It has been forever in the offing and we are finally – after so many years of waiting – in that position! So that is a great bonus.
  4. Our little holidays – the first down in Brixham in May – it was only a short break – less than a week – but it was one we needed and I enjoyed it very much being by the seaside. The Christmas Market weekend, Manchester was lovely and I wouldn’t rule out going to visit the city again.
  5. Being in the same job for over a whole year – this is a weird one I know, but in the past few years I have been on so many short non-permanent contracts, or in internships that it really was hard to feel settled and feel as if I was accomplishing anything. But I completed my first year at my current job in Sept. I may not be in quite the exact job that I want to be, but I do enjoy it and it is a good job and I have actually been able to see the end result of my work, which gives a great sense of accomplishment.
Honestly, I had many more great moments, lots of other little adventures and memories in the year, such as CATS, hanging out with friends and family, but these are the things for me that stand out from 2015.
I am however looking forward to the New Year and the promise of 2016 and what I want to achieve in 2016. I have things that I want C & I to achieve as a couple; like move out into our own place, go on holiday, put aside savings and perhaps actually set a wedding date! But – what do I want? What personal goals do I have, do I want to set myself?
  1. Be a little selfish – this isn’t as bad as it sounds. I am very good at giving my time to others, volunteering, going above and beyond, helping them to achieve their goals dreams or doing things when they want that I often end up feeling overrun, overused and under appreciated,  as I don’t allow any time for me, or let my opinion be known and get frustrated because I am doing something I don’t really want to do. I still want to be a giving person in 2016 and for me being kind and helpful are very important but I also need to realise that I have to be a little selfish and do some things my way and on my own time to be able to give that 100% when its needed.
  2. Don’t be scared to fail – I have to worry less about perfection, I love doing and trying new things, that isn’t the part that scares me. But often I let my creativity and my desire to start a poem, painting or create some DIY get overrun by my fear of it being a failure or not ending up the way I want. My goal in 2016 is to get past this, make the mistakes and realise that sometimes that ‘mistake’ is better than the perfect I was picturing.
  3. Blog better – I have promised myself that I will blog better this year, be more consistent with updates and regular with posts – I have also been thinking of a blog challenge for myself ….and have a few ideas.
  4. Take more photos – I love photography. It’s one of my favourite things in the whole world and I have been neglecting it over the past few years as I just haven’t had the time or inclination but my goal for 2016 is to get back into it, re-embrace it and rekindle what I love about photography.
  5. Keep on with healthy. I may be feeling good and proud of myself but I will not get complacent and will keep pushing, staying healthy and setting myself goals.
  6. Final thing – and perhaps more of a wish than a resolution, go abroad. I haven’t been out of the UK in five years. I need to see somewhere else in 2016 to sate my travel itches.

Well, this was a long post, but I hope that you will stay with me in 2016 and that I get to reflect back in 2017 on a great year spent with you all.