General Musings

Giving myself time every week.

I have decided, and it won’t be easy, to commit to giving myself at least one evening/day every week to do something for me.

This boils down to me realising that if I really want to be able to reflect, move forward and make decisions I also need to dedicate some time to me every week, whether it  is a whole day, a 1/2 day or just an evening it is just important that I find that time.

This basically feeds into one of my resolutions, objectives, for 2017 to get back in to doing some hobbies that I love and really just giving myself some me time, still being a little selfish.

It doesn’t really matter what I am doing. As long as it is something I want to do; reading, writing, learning a language…just anything!

But I need to be really resolute about it though and do it.I so often just let myself get distracted, or pulled along in other waves. So no, no to distraction, no to feeling annoyed because I haven’t got something I wanted done ,and just no to not supporting myself. I will give myself time, and I will make that time happen.

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Lifestyles, Slimming World

Week 15 @ Target: 2017 #goals

Hello, all. So as you may know I am not really at target, not properly, and I do think my target was hard for me to keep following my illness and recovery. It didn’t at the time feel like a natural weight as I hadn’t got there naturally, however I do need to re-kick my weight loss, exercise motivation and get out of my post-recovery slump.

In 2017 then I have decided to set myself a monthly weight and fitness goal, to give myself bite size motivational targets to stop me reaching for the pies, crisps, chocolate – anything really! After coming in last night with a 2.5lb gain, which I totally deserved after my hedonistic new year eating (unfortunately not so much with the drinking with UC) it has given me a wake up call to be better and more focused.

I am therefore setting myself the goal of losing my festive gains (3.5lbs in total) by the end of January, sustain it, and to ensure that I am exercising at least once a week, I need my exercise routine back. It’s not a massive goal but a small one, and one at the moment where I am swinging in to things that I think I can manage.

Wish me luck!

xoxo

General Musings, Lifestyles, Slimming World

A BIG UPDATE!!

You all may or may not have noticed that I have been exceptionally silent over the past 7 weeks or so, this was not by my choice, after writing my last post at the end of July I started feeling really unwell.

At first I just thought that I had caught a stomach bug and tried to carry on as normal in the first week, I went to work at first and got sent home accordingly and went to Slimming World (lost 1.5lbs whoop) but my stomach pain was getting increasingly worse and other related symptoms.

I had to cancel my Mums birthday surprise and re-arrange it for a later date in September and my pain was increasing so I went to my GP and started having tests to try and determine what was wrong, but the tests kept being delayed or going wrong with the lab (and this was a continuing frustrating theme throughout August).

I was also at the same time in this second week prepping to be a Bridesmaid for my Best Friends wedding – and despite the sheer agony and pain I was in I was determined not to miss it and I didn’t. I was taking any medication possible to curb the pain, but that also wouldn’t put me to sleep! So that was a challenge, however on the day I got ready with all the others and just tried to think of anything other than the pain so I could be there at the Church, walk down the aisle and also get up in front of everyone and do my reading. Which I did – but it exhausted me. I was lucky that it was a lovely day – but not one of the scorchers otherwise I would have felt so much worse. However I couldn’t do the rest of the day, by the time I got back to the venue I had to go to mine and C’s room and I couldn’t leave it so we had the food sent to us and I chilled there. I was gutted to miss all the celebrations in the evening but my BF totally understood and we had a few visitors in the course of the evening so it was still a lovely day – just not how I had imagined.

After this I just kept getting worse over the next couple of weeks and with delayed tests I just felt like I was going nowhere. I was struggling to eat properly. I felt nauseous all the time and weak. I had to miss a work training trip to Brussels, and also going out to the meal my Mum had planned for my Nan at Tom Kerridges pub the Hand and Flowers. So I was also feeling pretty miserable that whatever this was, was ruining my summer and plans. My Dad – who had been away and hadn’t seen me for a while was shocked at how I looked, and in late August & September it all came to a head, I had finally got referred to see Gastroenterologist, but I had started fainting so my Dad took me to A&E at the John Radcliffe and I got admitted to Hospital.

I ended up being in the Hospital for over a week, they were great and I quickly got diagnosed with a preliminary diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis (I say preliminary but the Doctor was like 99% sure!) and started on a course of steroids to treat the inflammation and fluids for dehydration. When I left the Hospital I had to go back for a Potassium infusion as my blood tests showed it was low so I had to go through all that again before I was allowed to leave. Despite being in the Hospital so long – not my favourite place – it really helped and I started feeling so much better, my appetite came back and I just felt better and more me really.

I’ve been on rest since leaving Hospital and lots of medication of course, though I’ll be back at work next week and I am working out the details on if I will be part time for a bit – just to ease me in as I am definitely better but I still tire easily and my energy can run down quick if I over do it. Need to build stamina again. I also need to get to grips with this illness as it is a chronic illness I will have for life. I can be absolutely fine and then just relapse so need to get my brain round that. But it shouldn’t stop me having a life, doing what I want and just being me as long as I manage it properly.

You may have seen my Instagram post from Slimming World that with this illness I lost a lot of weight and went from the 2nd August (my last weigh in pre-illness) at 11st6lbs to weighing in at the hospital 9st4/5lbs. Quite a big loss. I’ve put some weight back on since as I just felt TOO skinny for me and weighed in at Slimming World as 10st 0.5lbs, which I feel more comfortable with as I want to get my muscle strength back as well and perhaps put on a couple more pounds. Either way though it meant I got a few awards and I set this as my Target weight, obviously this isn’t how I wanted to lose 20lbs (yes that much!) but I can make a positive out of it and maintain going forward – my only issue is eating fibre as this can irritate the gut but I am going to have to figure out food and what irritates me all over again and being healthy for me.

Either way I apologise for the quiet spell and for this very long update!!

Lifestyles, Slimming World

Week 58: +0.5lbs

I am annoyed to have put on, but my weekend wasn’t particularly great with 2 BBQ’s and lots of dessert (I seriously struggle saying no to cream….). I was better on the other days around the weekend however and did more exercise so luckily it wasn’t a massive gain, but still not what I wanted.

So the goal this week is to shift that gain and hopefully some more! Got to keep the positive thinking going.

xoxo

Lifestyles, Slimming World

Week 57: -2.5lbs!

While I still have a good way to go to recoup the gains I have made over the past couple of months I was very pleased to come in with a 2.5lb loss this evening. I was hoping for a loss but I just wasn’t sure at all so it felt very positive.

If I had tried harder (or been really really well behaved) I think it could have been more but I was definitely better behaved this week in terms of what I was eating and in doing more exercise and overall being more active. I just need to keep up this mentality going forward over the next few weeks, especially as that wedding and bridesmaids dress gets nearer….

So wish me luck!

xoxo

Lifestyles, Slimming World

Week 52: -4lbs! YAY!

I LOST 4lbs!!! This means I need to only lose half a pound to shift last weeks gain, however I really want to lose more than that for next week! I am so pleased that I lost, especially as it was my birthday weekend and that is never a good combination for weight loss.

I was hopeful that I had lost but I wasn’t very confident that it was that much, although I did try to be as good as possible over the week despite a birthday curry, a birthday meal and a day at the seaside – though I was good as possible, I even had fat free frozen yoghurt rather than ice cream, very yummy actually!

I do feel like I am getting my mojo back again, getting my mind back in the game, which feels very positive. I’ve realised that I need to start taking back ownership of my good and BAD decisions and have really been working to and put SW in to my new routine at home with C. I have definitely found that being more prepared helps me to focus on my choices so I have been being more prepared.

So I am feeling good about the week ahead, I have a plan and I am going to stick to it.

xoxo

Lifestyles, Slimming World

Week 49: Maintain

Definitely was disappointed not to lose this week, however, it was good not to have put on again. Really got to get back in the mindset of losing again.

I am on holiday next week in the Lake District, and as it is a holiday I probably will not be amazing on the weight loss front and there is lots of nice food to be had up there, so I can’t say I’ll be really on it but I’ll try a bit – hopefully lots of walking will assist.

Either way, we’ll see what happens.

xoxo